Model and entrepreneur Chrissy Teigen tweeted an apology Wednesday for attacking then-16-year-old Courtney Stodden online after the reality TV personality and model married 51-year-old actor Doug Hutchison in 2011. “She wouldn’t just publicly tweet about wanting me to take ‘a dirt nap’ but would privately DM me and tell me to kill myself,” Stodden revealed in a May 10 interview with The Daily Beast. “Things like, ‘I can’t wait for you to die.’”

“Not a lot of people are lucky enough to be held accountable for all their past bullshit in front of the entire world,” Teigen wrote to her 13.6 million followers. “I’m mortified and sad at who I used to be. I was an insecure, attention seeking troll. I am ashamed and completely embarrassed at my behavior but that is nothing compared to how I made Courtney feel. I have worked so hard to give you guys joy and be beloved and the feeling of letting you down is nearly unbearable, truly. These were not my only mistakes and surely won’t be my last as hard as I try but god I will try!! I have tried to connect with Courtney privately but since I publicly fueled all this, I want to also publicly apologize. I’m so sorry, Courtney. I hope you can heal now knowing how deeply sorry I am.”

Stodden, who identifies as non-binary, also recalled being targeted at the time by other celebrities in addition to Teigen, including Joy Behar, whom Stodden said called them a “slut,” and Courtney Love, whom Stodden said called them a “whore.”